2016 Bulow
The Case of Holmes’ Failure
12/27/2015
It was a quiet night, until the phone rang. Holmes reached over and punched the speaker button. “Hello, you’ve reached Holmes Agency.”
The gravely voice on the other end reacted in surprise. “Sherlock Holmes?!?”
“No, of course not. Sherlock Holmes is fictional. This is Shirley Holmes.”
“Oh. Well, I hope you have some of his smarts.”
The voice went on to tell Holmes that they had obtained information indicating a certain family would be faced with a life and death situation, and that they would pay Holmes well to prevent a disaster from taking place. We learned the family was located in western North Dakota, and went by the name of Bulow. It was evident the family would need to be placed under constant surveillance. I asked Holmes when we would depart.
“My dear Watson…”
“Watsoff.”
“What’s that?”
“No. My name’s Watsoff. Not What’s That or Wats On or What Ever, but WatsOff. Ms. Watsoff.”
“Yes, of course. My dear Ms. Watsoff, you alone will be leaving on the next flight for North Dakota. I place the responsibility of detecting and preventing the situation in your hands.”
January 1, 2019
My dear Holmes: Just arrived in ND. Have learned that Larissa will be taking a course in handling firearms. This could lead to a life and death situation. I will keep a close watch. Miss Watsoff.
P.S. It is cold here.
February 10
My dear Holmes: A situation is developing. Tomorrow, Grandma Bulow is taking Larissa and Riana to Minneapolis for a couple days to meet up with their aunts and go to a Broadway show called Newsies. While down there, they are planning on going to a huge store called Ikea and possible a pizza parlor. I will follow them closely. Fortunately, the cold weather makes disguises easy: I will be bundled up in a parka and scarf over my face. Miss Watsoff.
February 29
My dear Holmes: The firearm course was held in an hockey arena, and was full. So I bought a hockey stick and have been impersonating a hockey mom for the last three weeks. I observed no dangerous situations. I almost blew my cover when they gave her a gun, but I realized in time that it was unloaded. Miss Watsoff.
May 9
My dear Holmes: I am now completely saddlesore. Lish took Larissa, Riana, and Ethan to Montana, and spent two whole days on horseback moving cattle from one pasture to another. I avoided detection by riding behind hills, as Montana terrain is much more rugged than the plains of ND. Unfortunately, I was unable to stop Ethan from riding off on a four wheeler with a cowboy and a gun. No one was hurt, except a small stack of gophers. Miss Watsoff.
P.S. Have you ever seen a cattle branding of 400 head? Unbelievable. Chaos.
P.P.S. The mother cat died while we were gone. Kittens are being bottle fed by the kids.
June 12
My dear Holmes: I have been rather frantic this last week- Lish, Larissa, Riana, and Ethan went to a large camp in Minnesota with eight other friends. To make surveillance more difficult, they drove up in two cars! I had to make another difficult decision on whether to stay or go, and, if I went, which vehicle to go in. Fortunately, everyone arrived safely. Miss Watsoff.
P.S. Have you ever been at a one week camp with 200 kids? Unbelievable. Chaos.
July 10
My dear Holmes: The Bulows seem to be an active family! I have followed them to the Colorado mountains for a week-long Reeves family vacation in Pagosa Springs. On the way, they have stopped at Mt. Rushmore and visited some friends. Now it sounds like they plan to hike some mountain trails, ride more horses, and try some whitewater rafting. Miss Watsoff.
P.S. I think I need to buy some hiking boots, sunglasses, and a life jacket.
August 4
My dear Holmes: I have been acting Norwegian this weekend to infiltrate the Tengesdal family reunion up in the Turtle Mountains of ND. I’ve eaten lefse, kumla, but no lutefisk thankfully. Next week, the Park family from Louisiana will be visiting. I don’t foresee any trouble. Miss Watsoff.
P.S. Only in ND would they call hills mountains. Unbelievable.
August 7
My dear Holmes: I am wearing a hat that resembles a wedge of yellow cheese. The family is at a one-week girls camp in Wisconsin. Caleb is the bible teacher, but it doesn’t appear that they will stone him. Miss Watsoff.
P.S. They make good cheese curds in WI. They squeak.
September 5
My dear Holmes: The family went up to Minnesota to visit friends for the weekend. While there, I lost them in a corn maze, but Larissa managed to find some old camp friends there! I have no idea how long they’d been lost in the maze. Miss Watsoff.
P.S. Can you send me a map on how to get out of the corn maze?
September 19
My dear Holmes: Thanks for the map. By the time I caught up to the Bulows back in ND, I found Caleb had taken Larissa out to the woods with a gun. I pursued them without delay, fearing the worst, but I found them, in a field dressed in blaze orange, field dressing Larissa’s first deer. Miss Watsoff.
P.S. I think I would look good in blaze orange.
October 8
My dear Holmes: Back to the Turtle ‘Mountains’ this weekend, where Caleb and Lish celebrated their 15th anniversary. It was a quiet weekend for them – the kids stayed with their Bulow grandparents. Miss Watsoff.
P.S. You wouldn’t believe what people do on their 15th. Unbelievable.
November 2
My dear Holmes: Larissa was baptized today. I was afraid she would be scared to death when she shared her testimony, but she seems to have survived fine. Afterwards, they went out to a dinner with several members of the church. Miss Watsoff.
November 19
My dear Holmes: Again, Caleb and Larissa and the gun. I have been following them for two weeks in my blaze orange, which does look good on me. Caleb finally got a deer on the last day, and the Reeves grandparents and some cousins are up for the Thanksgiving week. Last week there was a gathering of Caleb’s siblings because the grandparents were leaving. Miss Watsoff.
December 1
My dear Watsoff: Please catch the next flight home. Holmes.
December 5
I stared at Holmes in shock. “I failed to prevent the life and death situation?! But how… what…when…?”
“Actually, it was more of a death to life situation,” Holmes said calmly, “Larissa, who passed from death to life.”
Holmes quoted, “Most assuredly, I say to you, he who hears My word and believes in Him who sent Me has everlasting life, and shall not come into judgment, but has passed from death into life.’ John 5:24”
“You mean her trusting in Christ?!” I was totally confused. “But that means we failed our client!”
“As I intended that we should. I knew, from the moment the call came in, that I would fail that client.”
“How could you possibly know before hearing what the client wanted?”
“Elementary, my dear Watsoff. The caller ID number came up as 666.”