2020
In the first month of the two thousand and twentieth year of our Lord, in the north kingdom of Dakota, not far from the middle of nowhere, in the region of Sundre, stood the vonBulow castle, freshly completed from its three years of renovations. Inside its gates was a duke, duchess, three beautiful princesses, and two smelly princes. Staying with them was a fair young maiden, Lauren of Byrne, who possessed the rare talent of creating bear-scat pastries, which all the court prized highly. During her stay at the castle, she applied her thumb of green to the beautification of the courtyard terrace fauna. At the end of several months, she mounted her sky-blue carriage of Ford and rode off to seek her fortune in distant lands.
In the second month of the self-same year, princesses Larissa and Riana assembled a caravan of young ladies and gentlemen from the neighboring villas on an expedition to a weekend Bible conference in the distant city of Fargo. They allowed Prince Ethan to tag along under the condition that he refrained from overly embarrassing his sisters. The Duke and Duchess discretely followed the youthful caravan to observe the festivities (not to evaluate prospective suitors). After the party returned home from the conference, princess Larissa took pen in hand and subjected herself to the rigors of the ACT test.
Upon successfully completing the ACT, princess Larissa determined to take her fair sister Riana on a merry western adventure to the ranch of Young in the distant lands of the kingdom of Montana. Concealing their age, the two blithely joined the caravan of Amtrak. But prior to arriving at their destination, the Amtrak conductors, becoming suspicious, discovered that princess Riana was too young to travel unattended. Filled with wrath, they forbade the princesses from again joining the Amtrak caravan unattended. Thus did they deprive the princesses of a means to return home. Undeterred, the girls continued on their merry way to the ranch of Young and spent a happy fortnite aiding in the work of spring calving. Happily, the regal vonBulow grandparents mounted a hasty expedition to return the stranded princesses home before the governor of Montana closed the state borders to all who might carry the dread Covid plague.
While the Great Covid Panic swept across the earth, life continued as normal at the vonBulow castle. The duke continued in his engineering endeavors…
The princes honed their hunting skills on greedy blackbirds…
Princess Danielle spent hours training the royal hound some royally cool tricks…
And princess Riana got baptized amid much celebration.
Despite the great pandemic, the vonBulows occasionally ventured to the nearby village of Mynot. On once such visit, in an abandoned alley, the royal children were beset upon by a ferociously friendly ferret. After capturing the lively creature, royal children beset themselves upon the duke and duchess with pleas to keep their new pet. The parents agreed to bring the animal to the castle while a search for the rightful owner was launched throughout the kingdom. Not finding the owner, the duke issued a decree that the ferret could join the multitude of other royal animals as a castle pet. Howbeit, the duchess issued a decree that the ferret must join the other pets outside the palace.
In about the fifth month of the year, the vonBulows found the restrictions of the pandemic tiresome and launched a family excursion to the aforementioned ranch of Young to practice the art of cowboy. They partook in a great cattle drive across wilderness, pastures, hills, valleys, and streams. The duchess and children practiced the art of riding horseback while the duke practiced the art of riding a gas-powered, 4-wheel drive, side-by-side carriage with padded seats. After the cattle drive, the duke and princes practiced the art of fixing fences and took part in a fearful campaign against the voraciously herbivorous rodents which were overrunning the pastures. Expending at least a thousand rounds through their trusty .22’s, they successfully dispatched lots and lots of gophers.
Amid the sixth month, the young prince, Ethan, took up the art of crafting swords. Using materials of wood, silver tape, and carefully applied spray paint, he self-taught himself how to make a replica of a great sword of Middle Earth from Lord of the Rings. The replica turned out pretty royally sweet.
Towards the end of the self-same month, the Great King commissioned the duke and duchess to teach and cook at a teen Bible camp in the rugged northern forests of the kingdom of Minnesota. While princess Danielle and prince Titus ventured on a primitive camping expedition with a mighty huntsman, the son of Richard, and his family, the remainder of the vonBulow clan journeyed north to the camp of Story Book. In his pandemic wisdom, the dread governor of Minnesota forbade the campers from remaining on the Story Book campgrounds overnight. So the campers spent their nights on a neighboring campground, their mornings making quick trips to the nearby district of Virginia-town to consume pints of sugared coffee, and their days on the Story Book campgrounds.
In the seventh month, the duchess packed all the royal children in her ol’ miniVan carriage to embark on a perilous journey down to the countless cornfields of the kingdom of Iowa. There they spent a happy week with the aged patriarchs of the family of Reeves before returning thence to their estate. Scarce had they returned before the entire family set off on a primitive weekend camping adventure at Devil’s Lake with the extended vonBulow clan and the dashing young squire, Asa of Colorado. Eschewing the peaceful trips of a rowboat, the young royals tore up the surface of the waters with a jetski until it was time for the joyous baptism of princess Danielle.
At the close of the weekend, princess Larissa returned north to the camp of Story Book while the remainder of the family returned home in time to partake of the State Fair activities. Young prince Titus and princesses Riana and Danielle acquired many a ribbon for their variety of crafts and pets. Upon the fair’s completion, they, along with prince Ethan, joined a caravan of friends and cousins on an excursion to Story Book for a camp of juniors. The Duchess shed nary a tear as her young dears departed, so thrilled was she at the prospect of a quiet castle. Her only interruption was a mid-week call from prince Ethan asking permission to be baptized in the camp lake. Joyfully, the Duke and Duchess granted his request and thus it happened.
Scarcely had the Story Book camp ended before the Bunkhouse camp in the territory of Wisconsin began. The Duke and Duchess mounted their chariot and rendezvoused with their offspring in Wisconsin. Howbeit, being it was a princess camp, prince Ethan was ditched by his sisters in the wilderness of westen Minnesota. A kindly family of Smiths took him in and he had many merry adventures with the Smith lads until the Smith parents took him home.
In the eighth month, the vonBulows embarked on a wilderness adventure in the desolate but beautiful Badlands of the Dakotas with the aforementioned son of Richard and his family. Despite many harrowing experiences in deep ravines, on steep cliffs, and outside the lairs of mountain lions, no limbs or lives were lost and all emerged safely from the wilds no worse for their exploits, ready to depart for another adventure. Indeed, the very next weekend the vonBulows voyaged to the northernmost border of Minnesota to visit the estate of the Haacks where the princes partook in an effort to deplete the local squirrel population.
Looking forward to a quiet Fall, the vonBulows returned home in time to receive the sad tidings that the last of the Duchess’ grandparents, the esteemed Earl of Sutton, had passed away. Once again boarding the ol’ miniVan carriage, the vonBulows set off on a quick journey to the cornfields of Iowa. While down there, they joined their cousins in exploring an orchard and found themselves lost in a corn maze. Fortunately, they escaped the cornfield in time for the funeral of state.
Hunting season for youths began shortly after the vonBulows returned from Iowa. Invigorated by the crispness of the days, the duke and prince Ethan ventured forth to discover if any venison steaks were wandering about in the fields. Although they saw no steaks, Ethan perchanced to notice a distant cousin of the famed ‘tirty point buck’ approaching. Drawing up his trusty musket, he aimed true and straight, and did slay that mighty stag!
The steaks were scarcely put in the freezer before the Duchess’ brother, the young noble Joel, along with his wife and two young daughters, presented themselves at the castle for a visit. It was a most enjoyable time, packed full of activities such as jumping on Ethan’s trampoline, riding in Riana’s horse cart, and taking princess Larissa’s graduation pictures.
Setting aside her photographic finery, Larissa did don her hunting garb and joined the duke and prince Ethan for a bow hunt or two. Patiently did she await for hour upon hour until she excitedly detected the unmistakable sounds of a large stag approaching. Howbeit, no buck did appear. Shortly thereafter she received a text from Ethan excitedly confessing that he had shot something. Alas, he had appropriated the self-same stag which had been coming her way!
The reminder of the year has been relatively quiet with covid swirling all around. Thanksgiving was spent with the regal vonBulow grandparents and extended family. Over a period of three days at the son of Richard’s villa, something north of 3,500 Christmas cookies have been produced. Plans are in place to spend the Christmas holiday with the Duchess’ parents in lowa, and thereafter to close out the year at Story Book for their winter retreat. After which the vonBulows expect to enter a new year.
For now, the vonBulows do wish you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Years!
