2019 Christmas Letter
So, at the beginning of 2019, when you’re supposed to reflect on the previous year and see what you should change and stuff, I was, you know, doing that, and I thought to myself, ‘I think I should change my family.’ I told my sister and for once she recognized that my idea was a good one. #FirstTimeEver! So we went to all the family dealers in town, checking to see what we could get for trade-in on our old family. Believe it or not, the trade-in value was better than we expected and the interest rates were rock-bottom. #gettingexcited
We checked out a few models with flashy features, but they were outside our budget. #familiesarexpensive. Finally, in February, we saw a low-budget Bulow family with lots of miles, but having some interesting features. My sister decided to do a test-drive. Next thing she knew, they were all in Fargo for a weekend youth Bible conference. Like I said, interesting features. She had a good time, but we told the dealer we wanted to think about it before taking the plunge.
It was around the first part of March when I passed by the family lot and saw the Bulow family was gone. My heart almost stopped. I tore into the dealership and was relieved to learn they hadn’t been sold but were sent down to lowa for the weekend to take part in a funeral procession for Lish’s grandmother.
If that wasn’t enough, later that same month they were missing again! We discovered the back seats were left piled in a neighbor’s yard while Caleb and Lish went on a long weekend trip to Wisconsin for a couples’ retreat. Only they called it a charge weekend because they weren’t retreating. #Weird
Of course, we thought about test driving other families but they all had too many loose nuts. In April we decided to give the Bulow family another spin, but they were gone from the lot. The salesman assured us they weren’t sold, but that some cowboys from Montana had rented them for a week. Turns out it was time for their annual trail ride where they off-roaded through pastures behind a long line of cattle. That’s when we learned they had a cow-branding feature! Kind of useless but #krazykul. We said we wanted to take them out for a test drive again as soon as they returned, but were persuaded to wait until after they washed off the cow manure.
We waited almost forever and finally called the dealer in June. When he confessed that the family wasn’t in one piece anymore I almost screamed. Turns out Larissa was at a Story Book Bible camp in Minnesota. I informed that dealer that we were going to take our test drive with whatever parts of the family were available and bring Larissa back. He let us taking Caleb and Riana for a long ‘test-drive’ to the camp. Surprisingly, Larissa wasn’t eager to go back. It took us 2 full weeks to convince her to return. I was so frustrated that it wasn’t until I got them all the way home before I realized I had forgotten my sister at camp. #don’tjudgeme
Naturally, I would have left to get my sister right away but the dealer refused to let me have another test drive. As I left, I might have said something about taking a little joyride. But when I snuck into the family lot later that night, they were gone. Yep, some thief had beaten me to it. I found out later that they were eventually located at Hidden Acres Bible camp in Iowa. But thanks to my little comment, they weren’t letting me leave town for awhile so my sister was stuck at camp.
It wasn’t until the beginning of July that they were returned, but then they were shipped off to Fargo for a short family reunion. It must have been quite a reunion because they forgot Larissa in Fargo. #thisfamily I told the dealer I would only buy the whole family so he promised to have her shipped back ASAP. I was excited, but I should have known better. By accident, they shipped her to my sister up at Story Book Camp.
I talked the dealer into letting me test drive what was left of the family to Story Book and bring back Larissa (and my sister). He agreed, so I punched in the coordinates into the family GPS, hit start, but then ran back into the dealership to grab a soda. When I came back out, all except Caleb were gone and to camp. How was I to know they had a self-driving option? I was scared of what the dealer would say, so I quietly left.
After they were gone a week, I nervously called my sister and asked if they made it. It was a relief to find out they were all okay! I told her how to start the GPS to get back home. She gave me their ETA and I was at the lot when they arrived. However, my sigh of relief evaporated when they pulled in and I saw that my sister and Larissa had stayed at camp…
I called up my sister and demanded to know why she was still at camp. That might not have been my brainiest idea, because she got real mad. We talked it out, and when the dealer wasn’t looking I punched in the GPS and sent all the Bulows back to camp. Turns out, my sister was still mad at me. She took them from Story Book Camp to Bunkhouse Camp in Wisconsin for a whole week.
I figured the dealer might accuse us of stealing the family if my sister showed up with them, so I met her in Washburn and we both holed up at a Discipleship Camp for a week. We sent the family on, but in our haste they left without Larissa and Riana. The dealer threw a fit when he saw they were missing and hollered so loud that Titus raced up a tree. Unfortunately, there was a wasp nest in the same tree. Titus got stung 36 times and swelled up like a red blotchy balloon. And went to the ER.
Anyways, while my sister and I were working our way back home, we had a little talk. We began to see why this family had so many miles, but we both agreed on one thing – these Bulows weren’t so bad and the price was right. After all, we could always sell them if they turned out to be a lemon.
Of course, we had hardly signed on the dotted line before the Bulows disappeared again – I guess there was a bug in their GPS that sent them on random trips. They showed up in Colorado for the weekend at a wedding!
It took us awhile to figure out how to stop their GPS from setting itself. Up through October, there wasn’t hardly a weekend where the Bulows were all home! They ended up at fall retreats, Caleb and Lish’s anniversary retreat, a few conferences, had some visitors, and who knows what else. We tried to keep up with them, but sometimes my sister and I were simply too exhausted to keep up.
In November we added a driving module, bringing the total number of drivers up to 4. Yep, Riana got a driver’s license. Next thing we knew, the Bulows were down in Branson, Missouri for a week over Thanksgiving. They came back a little scarred from some pretty crazy rollercoaster rides.
Anyways, I’m writing this right now in the middle of a big kitchen. Apparently, I’m supposed to be helping them make a few thousand cookies, so I guess I should wrap it up
Merry Christmas everyone!
To see additional images, click here.
Merry Christmas!!
Interesting Christmas morning reading.
Glad for all the Bulow stops at SBL this past year!
Set GPS for SBL in 2020!
Uncle Bill
Man, i loved gong back through these past times 2019 is the first time i met Larissa and Riana. They, as well as Titus, Ethan, Danielle, Lish, and Caleb are phenomenal and I’m so glad to have met you all! Happy 2021!