Dear family, friends, and whomsoever it may concern:
Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Happy New Years, etc.
I am sure you look forward with eager anticipation to read the events of the past year, but I have bad news for you. The author of this letter has decided (rather selfishly) to not write our usual letter this year. I assure you that I wholeheartedly join you in your fervent pleadings and beseechings, but it is to no avail, for the author’s mind is made up: there will be no Christmas letter full of news. Which is really too bad, because that means you will miss hearing about all our black babies…. you see, on Easter Sunday, four totally black puppies were born in our garage! Then, exactly two weeks later (to the day, I might add), three completely black kittens were born in the same garage!!! Then, two weeks later (not to the day, of course), we added Two More Black Babies (neither were born in the garage)!!!! Zizi is the ADORABLE little human baby we have been babysitting, and two days after she started coming, our last black addition was born. Prairie Dancer (or Prancer, as we call her), was born on a cold, rainy day. We had a lot of fun with the Spring of Black Babies – the only bad thing was our mother dog became too protective of her puppies, and we had to get rid of her. Fortunately, we got her replacement: a gorgeous German Shepherd/Miniature Border Collie mix named Denali. Two months after we got her, Mount McKinley, the tallest mountain in North America, was renamed Mount Denali. Coincidence? I think not. But, you will never know the true reason behind the mountain’s change of name, thanks to this author’s reluctance to write.
Of course, since there will be no newsy letter, you won’t hear about our awesome new appliances daddy got for mom! The fridge needed to be replaced, so he replaced it, and now the kids can dispense water from the fridge! Then, the inside of our dishwasher had been slightly…. putrid and loathsome, shall we say, for many months. Dad finally decided to get a new dishwasher after many times of the kids telling mom that he needed to. And just recently, a fancy new stainless steel garbage can was added, courtesy of Grandpa and Grandma (who apparently disliked the smell of our garbage in our kitchen)….but I suppose you wouldn’t have been interested in reading about new appliances anyhow.
Oh, speaking of Grandpa and Grandma, I wish the author of this letter wasn’t too lazy to tell about how we went with them to our state capital, Bismarck, in June! Did you know we had a State Library? Awesome!!! And the state capital’s building is the skyscraper of the North Dakota prairie: nineteen stories tall! Okay, not as big as the Eiffel Tower, but still… skyscraper of the North Dakota Prairie! Of course, if I were writing this letter, I would also tell you about how our hotel had big floating ‘lily pads’ in the pool! They were a LOT of fun to hop onto, and it was hilarious watching the taller people scream as they fell off the pads into the pool! Then everyone screamed in terror as Titus fearlessly leapt onto each lily pad …. what a daredevil!
Another fun thing that you won’t get to hear about is our experience at the First Junior Camp at Story Book Lodge Camp! Previous years, Larissa, Riana, Mommy, and other friends had always gone to Girls Camp, but now Ethan was finally old enough to go, so it was strange for the girls to see boys walking around at first! But of course, you wouldn’t even want to read about that! I mean, who wants to read about prairies, and boys, and brothers…
Now, if all that were in the letter, it would have reminded me of Ethan having a lot of fun doing a soccer club in March. The rest of us had lots of fun reading books while he played soccer… I mean, WATCHING him play soccer!!! And that would have reminded me of Larissa, Riana, and Ethan taking summer tennis lessons every Tuesday and Thursday and having tons of fun. And that would have reminded me that later in the year, Ethan and Riana did an electronic activity series at our Public Library. Then, I would have proceeded to brag about how Larissa, Riana, and Ethan took classes at college this year (of course, I wouldn’t have told you that they were only College for Kids classes about scrapbooking and electronics, but would have let you think they are super advanced in their studies). But without a letter to remind me, it isn’t likely that I will think to mention all that.
If I were the author, I would surely think it would be fun to write about the camp in Wisconsin we all went too. Dad was the Bible teacher, and Larissa was lucky enough to be a camper in their first annual camp for girls! Riana and Ethan were also able to join in some of the activities, and the campers loved having younger kids, Danielle and Titus, around. They thought they were adorable! I’m sure you all have your own thoughts about that… that is, you would if you ever knew anything about our year!
Believe me, I feel your disappointment in not getting to hear about our year. I am just as disappointed to not get to tell you about it. I am absolutely positive you would have just loved to hear about Joel and Hannah’s reception on June 18. Their wedding was in January, but it was just a small family wedding, and we weren’t able to make it, and so wouldn’t have been able to tell you about it even if we were writing a letter. But, just think! We could be telling you about that beautiful reception, and how Larissa decorated cupcakes Grandma Reeves made, and even how she and Riana were Guestbook Attendants. But without an author for our letter, I see no way to tell you about it and alleviate your disappointment.
I guess one benefit about not writing the letter is that we won’t run the risk of forgetting to talk about the Bookmobile (also known as the library on wheels) which comes to our house every other Tuesday! Now, that is fun! Speaking of fun, another awesome thing that won’t run the risk of getting left out is The Play! The local homeschool group has an amazing drama club, and Larissa, Riana, Ethan, and Danielle all have a part in a couple of plays being performed at local nursing homes in Minot! If that’s not fun, I don’t know what is! Of course, if we thoroughly embarrass daddy by forgetting our lines, maybe I’ll be glad this won’t be in our letter…
One thing I probably wouldn’t bother to write about if I was the author is the pretty Bike Shed that the kids and dad made this year- the family pictures were even taken in front of it. Nor would I write about the couch set we got from Home Reserve…some assembly required (actually, a bunch of assembly). Mom thinks they’re the best though, and she loves to show them off, so you should come over and see the set, if you happen to hear about it through the grapevine.
Well, I just thought I would write and tell you why you aren’t getting the usual Christmas letter from us this year. It’s not that we are mad at you or anything, it’s just because the author of this letter has gone on vacation this year. I know you will shed many tears over the fact that there will be no Christmas Letter from the Caleb Bulow family this year, but I have done all I can. I hope you are able to overcome your disappointment and still have a
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!